Gather a group of moms, especially those of us with little ones, into any room and the conversation will inevitably turn to sleep because no one is getting enough of it. None. Of. Us. How sleep-deprived are you? Take our just-for-fun-quiz, inspired by the real life sleepy moments of fellow mamas.
Give yourself one point for each “Yes” you answer to the following questions.
Have you recently…
- Thought that the sexiest thing anyone could say to you right now is, “Why don’t you get some sleep, baby. I’ll handle this.”
- Decided that if you had to choose between getting ten million dollars or ten consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep, you’d choose the sleep?
- Laughed when you were sad and cried when you were happy because you’re too tired to tell the difference?
- Accidentally stashed a dirty diaper somewhere other than the trash can?
- Forgotten to pay for items in the store that you had tucked underneath your stroller?
- Poured juice, coffee and/or Bailey’s Irish Creme (we’re not judging) into your cereal bowl instead of milk?
- Put the milk away in a kitchen cabinet, instead of the fridge?
- Fantasized about the next time you’ll have a cup of coffee?
- Poured hot water into the coffee maker without adding the coffee beans? (Bonus point, if you cried when you realized the mistake)
- Didn’t notice that you were eating dinner with two forks because you’d given your partner two knives?
- Driven away in the car leaving behind your stroller and/or diaper bag? (Add an extra point for every child that was also left behind.)
- Frantically searched for your phone, while you were holding it in your hand?
- Forgotten to attach bottles to your breast pump, only realizing your faux pas once milk started spraying all over your lap?
- Accidentally spilled a bottle of breastmilk and mourned the loss like a close family member had just died?
- Tried pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, but poked yourself in the eye because you weren’t actually wearing glasses?
- Started wiping yourself mid-stream and gotten pee on your hand?
- Wondered why your hair was so greasy, until you realized you have chosen sleep over showers for the last four days?
- Wondered why your hair was so greasy, until you realized you had forgotten to rinse the conditioner out of it… again?
- Worn the same outfit to work two days in a row because you fell asleep in them and forgot to change in the morning?
- Worn a bathing suit as undies because you were out of clean clothes and too tired to do laundry?
- Worn two different shoes out in public?
- Forgotten to wear a crucial item of clothing out of the house (e.g. shoes, a shirt under a jacket, underwear)? (Add a point for each item of clothing you’ve forgotten.)
- Started speaking in the wrong language and couldn’t figure out why the other person couldn’t understand you. (Add a bonus point for knowing more than one language.)
- Spelled your child’s name wrong and/or given his wrong date of birth on official forms? (Bonus point, if you’ve done both)
- Lost count of the number of movies you’ve fallen asleep watching?
- Lost track of the status of all current events because it’s hard enough remembering what day it is?
- Literally forgotten what you were in the middle of doing?
16+ points — The Walking Dead
Girl, you’ve got to get some sleep, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. The good news is, we’ve all been there. The bad news is, that doesn’t help you feel more rested. Not to get all motherly on you, but make sure you take care of you. Sleep is seriously important for your health and safety. You’re not doing anyone any good if you can’t function, so ask for help. Don’t feel bad about saying “no” to commitments, and drink all of the caffeine. All. Of. It. Everything feels harder when you’re tired. It’s not your imagination.
10 to 15 points —Vampire Diaries
You’ve been running on a steady diet of cat naps, caffeine and adrenaline for so long that you’re not sure you’re even capable of sleeping for longer than a four hour stretch. The middle of the nights have turned into your most productive time, catching up on your Facebook newsfeed, ordering every product on Amazon that promises to help your kid sleep, and sending apologetic emails to friends about why you’ve been ignoring them for the last four months. It will get better eventually, but probably not soon enough!
4-9 points — Dazed and Confused
Well, look at you! You’re right in the sweet spot of motherhood-induced tiredness. You’re probably getting decent stretches of sleep at night, which make those random and unpredictable nighttime wake-ups that much more tiring. This, combined with the never ending list of stressors that come with keeping tiny humans alive and balancing 7,992 other commitments in your life will cause the best of us to lie awake at night, even when our kids (and partners) are fast asleep. (Seriously, how do they all sleep so soundly?)
0 to 3 points — Sleeping Beauty
The circles under your eyes are barely noticeable, and you’re on top of your game. You may do some silly things every once in a while, but it’s probably because you’re (understandably) distracted by your brood and not because you’re super sleepy. If sleep were bankable, you’d be rich. Keep saving up because you never know when the next stomach bug is going to hit the family. Go enjoy your life, mama, while you’re alert enough to remember it!